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Saturday, October 13, 2012

12/10/2012



zilian me. me and my brother too,haha =) 
We started to be fall apat now. Can't be so sweet like last time. I can't.


Went to east coast park with emily,janica,christine,jiale,zhongxing,zengchen,kaisiang,elthan,rick,mc and me =) Actually to them,they must be having fun there. But for me,just another day passed.
Three time in a row quarrel. First time ever. woah.
first- still waiting for his reply to me. but when i take the first step to text him,he just told me he was playing computer games and then the next day i knew that becos idw go Eastcoastpark then he angry. I am so stupid.
second-i decide to go east coast without telling him,while reached there, all rent bicycle for two hours. He totally ignoring me. Still have fun with them. When i asked him why he so happy liddat and he just tell me becoz he happy so that he can try to make me happy too. I admit i be happy for a while but that was just temporary. He was just not beside me. Still can enjoy himself eating burgerking. Leave me aside,totally don't care about me still can sit beside with her,take her food and other people fod to eat. Totally no ask me or talk to me. He saw me feeling down. He was just continue talking with friends,playing games. What am i to him now? a friend. I started to hold my tears. Maybe I shouldn't come on that day.
third-When to christine house and eat maggie mee. So hungry that time. He just bath finished and he sat down and continue to eat his maggie mee. I sat with janica with another table. After i ate finished,i go christine room and sat on a chair. He came in,seeing boys lying on christine bed. He join the fun too. Forget if i was there anot. Saw him having so much fun with his friends. Sat there,looking at him. He always ignored me,ALWAYS.  That why i hate being with him when he with friends. He told me i always dw pei him go out since we have been a long time not going out have fun. Don't wanna go with him. He just don't know the reason why. He be with friends,he is totally another person. Leave me aside. Many times.
At ktv,he treat me like shit. After he came in,he was feeling down. Then he sat beside me and tell me why he was so angry. He cover himself with his bag. I was trying to cheer him up but fail. I totally forgot if i am angry with him or not previously. I just want to cheer him up,make him happy now. But it was hopeless. He ignore me,very jidong. Tried two -three times. Still failed. Afterthat when he okaylerh,he took out his phone and played his games. Then,he sleep on the sofa just liddat. Totally,not talking to me. Told him i miss him,i want to talk to him,he just take my words for granted. He forget . He sleep,i told myself no need to care so much for him. At  10.30pm we walk out from ktv,intend to go home. He woke up,find his friends. And i just...extra there with my friends. We look like just normal friends that day. In the taxi,Rick,me,Him and jiale inside,chit-chat. He started to hold my hands,trying to talk to me. But i just can't talk to him. scarley,I talk to him,i will cry. I hate him. always take things nothing had happened. At 11pm when i reached home,bath..and went to sleep. Really disappointed that day. Covered myself in the blanket and started to cry. It had been a long time to cry. Feel so comfortable afterthat. Very miserable and feeling terribly hurt that day. Finally,it had come out when i sleeping. I am so hopeless.


Seem that we not fought yesterday. that great, but,u don't know how much i trying to hold my tears that day.
so maybe,you are just being yourself. We are not more than friends but just friends while we supposed to look like couple.




6.51pm
13-10-2012
Evening.

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